Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Dawn and Dusk of the Dark

*** Here it is. Please tell me what you think. The bad stuff and good stuff. Thanks!

Chapter 11

The first thing that hit me hard was the light.

It was blinding, searing, and it burned my eyes.

The second thing that hit me hard was the mild shock of an electro-staff.
It was even more blinding, searing, and it burned my back.

The third thing that hit me hard was the thought.

It was also blinding, searing, and it burned my mind.
But years in prison told me not to falter again. If I did, there would be a fourth thing like the second (I tried not to groan at the thought of déjà vu again). This time, it would be a hell lot more painful.

While I tried to adjust my eyes against the intense light, the thought of telling Eroda and Ward also adjusted. What Barriss-if that's even her real name- told me when we were on the ship cell rocked me. I guess I don't need to tell them so they don't need to worry more than they already were. So I guess I'll tell them after we survive the adventure- if we did. I can ponder on my future then too.

Drawing myself back from the distracting thoughts, I found out that my eyes had almost cleared. Spending all my life in a dark place, I was pretty impressed with how fast it adjusted. Turning left, I saw Kalifa's eyes already okay, like a Jedi and Togruta she was. Barriss's eyes were just adjusting, but Eroda and Ward were trying not to falter while sheilding their eyes against the light. When my eyes are finally okay, I took my first look at the world around me. Coruscant.
There were buildings. Lots of them. In fact, I don't see anything else. All I saw was the magnificent tall skyscrapers that shone against the sun. A soft breeze blew by, picking up my dirty hair and cooled me down. The effects of the staff on my back is wearing off. I felt at peace here. As amazed as I was with the fact that such civilization could exist, I felt at home. Home. I don't even know how to start defining that.
Something drew my gaze to the east. There was a huge building... ruined. It was the only one that looked empty and desolate. There was an echo of light there, but only an echo. The spires looked ready to fall down and I felt death. Destruction.

It was awful. But there's also something else. The five spires that seemed to touch the sky seemed so... oh, I don't know. There was a warm feeling in my heart in the middle of the coldness. It seemed so familiar...

Wait a minute. It seemed familiar because it was familiar. It's the same kind of glow that connected me to the galaxy... as if we are all one. It was in everyone. It was in me. It was in Kalifa (if that was her real name... I was pretty tired of saying that. I'll just assume so, okay?). It was in Barriss (Same thing here). I knew it. It was the Force.

Just before we were led inside one of the towering buildings, I saw emptiness in Barriss's and Kalifa's eyes. They were looking at the same thing as I was. I guess... it was really their home. Burnt down. Destroyed. I can only imagine how they feel.

The view was blocked suddenly when we were herded inside, where the look in Kalifa's eyes disappeared and she quickly explained it was the Galactic Prison.

"I've been here before," she mouthed, "as a... Jedi." Aha. So Barriss told her sometime. But that hardly matters now.

I shrugged and kept walking. We passed a vast gray space with some sort of anti-grav in the middle. Looking up, I can see plenty of beings in ray sheilded cells at the sides. But soon the view passed along and we were in a large holding cell, which I guess is where we would stay for the night. We settled down.

Like other prisoners, we were just staring at the wall waiting for time to pass. I preferred for time to pass quickly, because I knew staying here would give me a lot of bad ideas... which would easily lead to panic.

Kalifa and Barriss sat down and closed their eyes. They meditated... as my mother told me they do. I just sat next to Eroda and Ward to stare at the wall. I noticed that their hands were gripped together tightly. Strange.

I tried to reassure them. "Don't worry. We already broke out of one of the stinkiest prison in the galaxy with these two. We passed the guards without them knowing, and we crawled through the ventilation shaft, escaped the troops after the security cam caught us, and we weaved blaster fire. This shouldn't be harder."

Ward nodded and continued staring at the wall. Eroda gave me a weak smile. "We also sneaked into a death ship. In hopes that it would keep us alive," she said squeakily.

I gave her my best not-to-worry smile and said, "Hey, on the bright side, death is more generous than those guards. Also, we could survive. We're in the best hands of the galaxy."

I hope they felt somewhat reassured and at least stopped worrying a bit. The truth was, I was not. I wasn't worried for my own life. If I can choose the place I will die, I will choose here. This planet. Where I feel so much at home. I wasn't worried about my future, either. I've handed it over to the two Jedi.

In fact, I don't really know what I'm worried about. I can feel so much around me, and I can only take so much. Maybe I'm worried about Eroda and Ward. I don't know. It's just this heavy feeling in my heart. What was to become of me?

Now, it's not really the future. I've learnt to stay in the present, but the future will become the present and everything we're doing now is to prepare us to the future. Future, present, past, it's all intertwined. It's all like a circle. For now, I hope that the circle isn't complete... because when my dark past meets the unknown future it's going to be hard to get through.

I had too much to worry about to worry at all. I might as well get some sleep now. A few days ago back in prison, I had told myself the same thing. Ugh. Déjà vu  I really hate it now.

But what I told myself back then is true. I need sleep. Tommorow is going to be another long day.


  1. I've really liked this chapter, so I should go and start reading the whole story from the start (I'll find some time during Easter)^^
    Just one thing: why do you keep on changing tenses? There are some times when your character is telling the story, or making a description of the place in a past tense and suddenly, there's a present tense sentence among the others and I'm like "what...??" :D
    But don't worry, maybe it's just me and the way I was imagining the scene. Truth is, you write very good to be such a young girl :D
    I'll keep on reading this fan-fic!

    1. Thank you so much!!! I'm happy you liked it!!! I'm so glad that you pointed out the error... it's supposed to be all past tense! I didn't proofread it yet for grammar... just auto checked it for typos :/ This is only my second draft. Sorry about that.

  2. Another good chapter! I love the scene where she sees the Jedi Temple and senses it through the Force and the section about the future, past, and present.
    For some constructive criticism, you changed tenses a few times and a couple of sentences didn't flow all that well, but beyond that, it was really good :)

  3. didn't jareal have an elctrostaff? eitehr way awesome job. keep on going. :)

    1. Thanks :D
      I'm not sure what you mean by jareal...? All I know is that Mathew Stover called it that in his ROTS novelization, so I just put it down. :) Thanks again :D