*** Nothing special, just some small talk before action :) MTFBWY
I left Numi in my room as I made my way to the command station. Kalifa and Barriss was there, and my guess was that Kalifa knew what happened by now. Somehow I wish I didn't stumble out like that now. However, that hardly matters now. I guess I'm going anyway.
Kalifa raised an eyebrow as I walked in. I found that disturbing, so I took a deep breath and tried not to shudder. Now that that inspiring moment Numi gave me was gone, the uneasiness started to flood back.
I thought I'd break it to them quickly, so I can say it all before I collapse. So the words stumble out faster than an ordinary person can hear, but they have extraordinary senses.
"I'm going back. I'm going to rescue Eroda and Ward. Please don't try to stop me. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm gonna get them out. If they die then I die with them."
Kalifa's eyebrow, which just went down, came up again. "How are you going to do it?"
I mentally cursed. Maybe I was even crazier than I thought. I didn't know how. But that's not going to stop me. If they kill me on the front door, it'd be hopeless. But anything is worth a try. So I just shrugged.
Barriss's voice was a bit gentler. "You can't, Kaayla. I'm sure they want you to get on with life. It's not worth it. That's why the Jedi allow no attachment."
I silently seethed. Some people tell me that the Jedi have no heart, but I never really believed them. Now I understand them a bit. But of course, my mom told me the Jedi do care, but every one equally. So I guess they do have a heart, even if it's cold sometimes.
"I don't care," I said, "I'm no Jedi. I'm going for them. It may be suicidal- but I'm willing to do it."
Maybe the grim determination in my eyes said it better, because Kalifa sighed and said, "All right. You can go. We can't stop you. It's your choice. But that doesn't mean it's the wisest."
Barriss started. "Ka-"
"No. Please." Kalifa and I said at the same time.
Barriss sighed too. "Then I'll go with you."
A tingle of shock, gratitude, relief, and fear washed through me. "You sure?" I asked, uncertain.
Barriss nodded. Kalifa looked at her like she was crazy, and Barriss was looking back with calm eyes. Maybe Barriss and I were both crazy.
Kalifa chewed her lip and said, "All right. I'll come with you. But what we do needs to be for the good of everyone, not two people."
Barriss and Kalifa communicated silently again, and they took me out of the room. Maybe I have hope after all, I thought as we boarded a ship that would probably take us across the stars... and to my dear friends.